Homeschool Preschool

We have officially started preschool with the boys! They are super excited to do school work like their uncle Eric, and it's adorable to watch them get excited about everything we're doing!

What are we using for preschool? A whole bunch of stuff. It seems overwhelming at first glance, but it's really not that complicated.

• I'm working through Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons with Dominic. We'll start with Benedict after Dominic finishes.
• Dominic (and sometimes Benedict) watches his Petty School lessons from Classical Liberal Arts Academy. He's been doing this for a while now and really enjoys it.
• Together we're venturing down the Alphabet Path. The boys have LOVED this!

What is the alphabet path? Each week, we explore a new letter of the alphabet! We have some books that we use every week, and then we also pick out some story books that features something with that week's letter. I found lots of alphabet coloring pages online, so I printed a few for each letter. We also cook something each week that features our letter of the week (eg- A is for Apple Pie!)

Books we use every week
Following Elizabeth Foss' Alphabet Path guides, we use the story on the Serendipity page, which incorporates A Flower Fairy Alphabet and An Alphabet of Catholic Saints. We also use
A is for Altar, B is for Bible and Museum ABC (an art book) recommended from her site.

I found some ABC books around the house, so we use those too. We're only reading one page from these books each week, so it only takes a few minutes.

• Dr. Seuss's ABC
• Richard Scarry's Find your ABC's (the A page has letter a's in red, B has b's, etc.)
• Eating the Alphabet by Lois Ehlert (each letter has fruits and vegetables beginning with that letter, and we try to eat something from that list that week)
• The Butterfly Alphabet Book by Brian Cassie (has beautiful pictures of butterflies)
• Book of Saints for Catholic Children by Fr. Daniel Lord (these are in alphabetical order, so we'll read some for each week's letter)
• I had the My First Steps to Reading books from my own childhood, and we read My "a" Book, or My "b" Book, etc. corresponding to the week. In these adorable books, Little A (or B or C...) fills his box with all sorts of things beginning with his letter. The boys like knowing that these were mama's books!
  

No News

Several people have asked if there are any updates. Short answer: no. We'll see...

Contact!

So! Remember the local kiddo that we had been contacted about a couple months ago? I hadn't heard anything back, so I just assumed that they had chosen a different family or something. I guess I was wrong, because I got a phone call from that agency today! The adoption worker asked a few questions, and said there will be a matching meeting next week! So I have no idea how many families are being considered or when we should anticipate hearing back, -- I was too surprised to think clearly enough to ask such questions on the phone! -- but I am excited :)

More details as I learn them :) Keep us in your prayers!

Back to the Drawing Board

There is a placement pending for the sibling group for whom we had submitted our homestudy. Yet again, we never heard back. I'm really frustrated with caseworkers who don't seem to let you know if you are being considered or not (or return your messages, for that matter). How long are we supposed to wait to hear something back before we look elsewhere? Until I notice the kids' picture is missing from the photolisting? It doesn't seem that difficult to send an e-mail or make a quick phone call. Even just to say we aren't being considered or we aren't a good match. But all this being left in limbo while we wait and wait and wait is making me crazy!

I'm grateful that these boys found a home. And it's back to the drawing board for us.

Cathedral at Lafayette -- Stained Glass Windows

Cemetery at Lafayette Cathedral

The cemetery at the Lafayette Cathedral, like others in the area, is all above ground because the water table is so high. The array of above-ground tombs is fascinating.

The entrance to the cemetery


A view across the cemetery


Two family tombs


We stumbled across this little piece of history -- the tomb of Franklin K Gardner, Major General, Confederate States of America! Wikipedia offers some biographical details here.

Tuesday Travels -- Lafayette, Louisiana

We drove to Lafayette, Louisiana for the wedding of some friends (one of Justin's groomsmen, and his very beautiful bride!)

We stopped at the Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist, Diocese of Lafayette, in the morning. The architecture was beautiful, and I'll do another post on the gorgeous stained glass windows and the cemetery behind the cathedral.

The cathedral from the front entrance, and then a side view, taken from the entrance to the cemetery -- stunning!

Site markers in French, Latin and English! (The nerd in me was elated!)

































I presume this is the episcopal residence -- to the left as you face the entrance to the cathedral. And to the right is a niche statue of St. John, after whom the Cathedral is named, tucked in the wall of the same building.



















The Cathedral grounds are also home to this enormous live oak tree -- the trunk is more than NINE feet diameter!

Introducing Tuesday Travels!

Our family takes a LOT of road trips! Last year, we drove about 16,000 miles in road trips! As long as we've been married, when we take road trips, we find neat places to stop along the way -- mostly interesting Catholic sites, but other things too.

So I've decided to start a series here that chronicles our travels and some of the neat places we've been able to visit.

Just last weekend, we drove to Cajun country for a wedding, and boy were there some gorgeous churches! We are taking a long road trip this summer, sure to have lots of neat stops, so I'll post pictures and explanations here. I'll post some pictures from old trips too, just for fun!

On to Another Attempt

We never did hear back about the local kiddo. Oh well. The day the social worker called about that child, we already had our homestudy in the mailbox regarding another sibling group. We pulled it out after the phone call, but it went back in the mail last week. We'll see how it goes! I'm trying not to get too excited too early (and there is so much else going on that it is easy to stay distracted)!

Still waiting... blah

Sorry to keep you all torturously uninformed with no updates for so long, but that's certainly how we feel here! Last week we received a phone call asking us to consider a particular child from this area (and less than 2 years old!). We looked over the information the case worker sent us, e-mailed back that evening that we would love to proceed, and anxiously waited! We're still waiting... haven't heard anything back at all. zero. zip. nada. I e-mailed again to be a pest, and still haven't heard anything.

I'm new to all this, so I don't really know what it means to not hear back from a case worker. She suddenly fell ill? My e-mail(s) are lost in computer la-la-land, never to be seen again? She found somebody else? Circumstances changed?

So, who knows. The ironic thing is that we had our homestudy literally in the mailbox ready to be mailed regarding a different sibling group when the case worker called last week. I pulled the envelope out before the mailman came. Not sure when I'll put it back in the mailbox... maybe today?

Waiting, Again

We replied last night to our phone call, and now we are waiting to hear back. I'm not sure how long I should expect it to take, but I sure do wish it were right now!

Phone Call!

We received a very exciting phone call this morning -- stay tuned for details, and by all means, PRAY! :)

Loss and Sadness

Today is hard. I feel sick to my stomach and on the verge of tears (and sometimes over that verge). There have been two other sibling groups that we have grown attached to during this process -- kids that we prayed for and thought about lots and lots. You imagine what life might be like with them, how you might arrange the bedrooms to accommodate them, taking them on family trips and a bustling dinner table. We lost them too, but those sibling groups were adopted. I was sad for myself when they were adopted, but truly overjoyed for the children and their new families.

This time is different. We've been praying for these kids and thinking about them for weeks. There was a new level of excitement since this was the first time we had submitted our home study. We've lost these kids too, but they are still waiting. The sadness isn't balanced by joy for their adoption. Today is just hard.

Disappointed

We talked to the adoption agency today. It was decided that we would not be a good match for this particular sibling group. During our homestudy, we were asked to enumerate what sorts of behaviors we were comfortable with (especially considering we had young children in the home), and this sibling group has some behaviors that we preferred not to bring into the home with very young children.

We are disappointed, to be sure, but we are also appreciative that the social workers were honest with us up front. Of course they are eager for these children to find a family, but we are grateful that they considered our needs as well.

Waiting...

We received a phone call today (when we weren't home), asking us to call the adoption agency. I have no idea what to expect when we call back tomorrow, but I'm not sure I'm going to sleep well tonight!

The Bad Guy That Adopts Three Kids

As a family, we recently watched the movie Despicable Me. It's a cute movie about a villain whose career isn't going so well, and he adopts three kids to help him in his plot to steal the moon.

Well, my boys have re-titled the movie, "The Bad Guy That Adopts Three Kids." We used this movie as a platform to talk about adoption with them a little, but the conversation got a bit goofy.

Me: "What do you think, should dada adopt three kids?"
Boys: "Yeah!"
Me: "Does that mean dada is a bad guy?"
Boys: "Ummmm..... nah. He's not a bad guy."

Adoption Journey Timeline

July 2010- explored adoptflorida.org; called local number; signed up for MAPP classes
(MAPP classes are a series of 10 3-hour training classes for families considering fostering or adopting from foster care)

August 2010- began MAPP classes
We learned a TON about the kids in foster care and their experiences, the difficulties these children face and how to help children adjust to a new family, and what the adoption process entails. While much of the information wasn't entirely new or earth-shattering, it gave us a chance to discuss a large variety of topics surrounding adoption in more depth.

We filled out large stacks of paperwork about our family, our family backgrounds, education, finances, discipline, why we wanted to adopt, etc. We also signed consents for a number of background checks and fingerprints.

It was easy to get a bit frustrated filling out so much paperwork, but I tried to keep in mind that all these hurdles are designed to protect children who have already been wounded in their young childhood. If there weren't so many hoops to jump through, then some real weirdos could adopt these kids!

November 2010- home study
We were assigned a social worker, who came to our home to ask us lots of questions! The home study allows the agency to get to know us as a family, and to make sure that we are able to provide a safe and loving family for children in their care. Our social worker asked for clarifications and more detail about all the paperwork we had submitted. She also looked around the house to make sure things looked safe and well-cared for.

I was very nervous about the home study. I felt like I might say the wrong thing and POOF! our adoption hopes would be down the drain. Our social worker, though, was very personable, and made us feel very much at ease with the process.

The second meeting of the home study included a long series of questions about what sort of child(ren) we would consider adopting. We went through long lists of medical conditions, abuse history, developmental delays and behaviors. To each item, we had to state whether we would be willing to adopt, willing to consider, or not willing to adopt a child with that description. This was an emotionally difficult thing -- to say that you want this child but not that child. Our no's had mostly to do with protecting our two little ones.

November 30, 2010- bittersweet notice
Justin received notice that he was being laid off. Our approved home study arrived in the mail the same afternoon. We pause our adoption journey and begin a job hunt. I chose to see this obstacle as a test of our resolve. It would certainly be easy to be discouraged, but I figured the devil must not like adoption. I also decided not to look at the photolistings of waiting children during this time, since we couldn't pursue adoption without an income to provide for them!

February 2010- new job, resume adoption process
Justin didn't take long to get a new job, and with a raise at that! We being looking again at the photolistings again.

March 2010- home study submitted
We submitted our home study regarding a particular sibling group! We wait and pray patiently... well not so patiently!

My First Experience of Adoption

When I was in elementary school, a new family moved into our neighborhood, and they had a son adopted from Romania. I had gotten to know this child a little bit, and was intrigued by the idea of adoption. When I was in 6th grade, he passed away tragically just shy of his 10th birthday. At the funeral, there was a slide show at the church with some pictures of his time in Romania and his life with his adoptive family.

I was struck deeply by how this little boy's life was transformed because a family opened their hearts and home and loved him. Despite the tragic circumstances and the heartache that this family endured at his passing, I knew at that young age that I wanted to adopt someday. That experience has remained with me all these years, and continues to be an inspiration on our own adoption journey.

Resources on Adoption

We have done a great deal of reading and praying about adoption, and my thought about these reactions are certainly not exhaustive! We have found a few books particularly helpful:

• Adoption: Choosing It, Living It, Loving It by Dr. Ray Guarendi
• Adopting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky
• Parenting the Hurt Child by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky
• Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray (reading these now)
• Nurturing Adoptions by Deborah Gray
  

These websites have also been particularly helpful:

• www.adoptuskids.org
• www.adoptflorida.org
• http://www.focusonthefamily.com/socialissues/marriage-and-family/adoption.aspx
• http://www.icareaboutorphans.org/

Last, we have read numerous adoption stories on blogs. A blog search can help you find lots of these, and some are in my blogroll in the sidebar. It has been very encouraging to see other families successfully welcome older children into their families.

Reactions and Misconceptions

As we have pursued adoption, we have encountered a wide variety of reactions from family and friends. Most people have been incredibly supportive, but there have been a number of concerned comments as well. Here are just a few:

Why not just have more biological children?
-- It seems that as soon as we mention that we are adopting, the first reaction many people have is to ask if we are unable to have our own children. While we would love to have more biological children, this really misses the heart of the issue for us. If God blesses us with more, great! We are not pursuing adoption because we can't have our own, but because these children need a family!

But "they" will mess up your kids. Why go through all that heartache?
-- These comments are directly primarily at adopting older kids. Adopting any child will be a transition for a family, and adopting an older child with a traumatic past will certainly bring a new set of challenges. But these challenges are not so great that we can't work through them. We don't anticipate that everything will be happily-ever-after with no bumps in the road, but we do believe it is a road worth traveling. And it is not a road we have to travel alone. There are lots of resources to help families adjust, and we have a tremendous network of support.

Why not adopt from China or something instead of "dysfunctional" kids in foster care?
-- This comment is naive because it assumes that children adopted internationally are somehow immune to the trauma of their past. Orphanages overseas are not exactly a picture-perfect childhood! Certainly children are not in foster care because everything was hunky-dory with their birth parents! These children all have loss and trauma to work through, and many have developmental or behavioral delays, but it is simply ignorant to think that internationally adopted children do not struggles with these same challenges.


In general, those making these comments really have our best interests at heart. They don't want to see us struggle with permanent decisions we haven't considered thoroughly. I try not to be annoyed by their comments, but rather to see their love and concern for us. Sometimes, too, it gives me the opportunity to clarify their misunderstanding. (And sometimes they just don't want to hear it, but that's ok too.)

147 Million

As I was reading about adoption and families who have adopted, I came across the startling statistic that there are 147 million orphans in the world. What a heartbreaking reality!

For some, this overwhelming number may seem so huge that there is nothing we can do to fix it. While it is true that one family cannot "fix" the situation for these orphans, certainly it is better to do something. As I have looked through photolistings of children in foster care, my heart is broken for these children. They have experienced so much hurt in their young lives! It makes me want to adopt all of them, love them, help them to experience a new, peaceful family life.

I realize I cannot adopt them all, but our hearts have been changed forever. Pray for these children, and for families to love them!

Pursuing Adoption

We started the process of adoption quite some time ago, but I decided I'd like somewhere to journal my thoughts about the process. This blog will serve that purpose just fine, and if it encourages some other family to consider adoption, then all the better!

Yesterday we submitted our home study regarding a particular sibling group. We've looked for quite some time at pictures at adoptuskids.org and adoptflorida.org, but this is the first time we've sent our home study. I'm trying not to get to attached to any kids prematurely, but I can't help being exciting and anxious to hear back!

My heart aches for all these children who need families! I look through the photolistings and want to bring them all home. I can't help them all, obviously, but we can make a difference for a few! And right now, I can just wait and pray!