Adoption Frustrations, Yet Again

We never did hear about the little boy that we were contacted about last May.

In December, we were contacted by someone who recommended us for adopting three little boys, age 5 and under.  The boys were local, and the parents had already been TPRed.  We expressed interest, and turned in our paperwork on December 8th.  (The feast of the Immaculate Conception, our parish feast, and the day Justin proposed 6 years before!). 

Ironically, the agency handling this new case was the same agency that handled the case with the little boy last May.  We mentioned that they had considered us for a little boy a few months back, so they should already have our homestudy on file.  We said we never heard back, but it had been months, so we assumed we hadn't been chose.  The lady explained that they had some process changes over the summer and we must have slipped through the cracks.  The lady apologized profusely, "I don't know how you got missed.  I personally called all the families on the list.  The boy has been placed with a family and is doing well -- I got to see him just this week."  So, although it was months later, and yet again we were left wondering, at least this little boy has a home now.  We are truly glad he has a home -- that's the point of this whole process.
So here we are with the same agency again.  We had heard a rumor that they were hoping to place the boys by Christmas (nothing official, just rumor).  So we had scenarios running through our head of "oh my!  We would have three weeks to finish tiling the house (a 1000 sq ft project that was already underway), getting a bedroom ready, buying a new car that would seat everybody, and buying more Christmas presents!  Can we still take a group of teenagers to the March for Life in January?  What if we have three extra kids to take?  How would our families react to Christmas with new kiddos?"  I'm sure it would have all worked out, but it was a daunting thought.  Nonetheless, we were ready for the challenge.

Time goes by, no phone call.  Not surprised, really.

Mid-January, we get a phone call!  Hurray!  But there was confusion regarding the paperwork -- they had two different dates of birth for Justin.  I asked if they had any timeline for when we might hear something.  No substantial answer.  "Soon, hopefully, but the boys need time to adjust."  She did say that there were four families being considered (one-in four!  not too bad!), and that her agnecy had some paperwork to do, and then it goes to another committee to decide. 

More time goes by, and nothing.

The last Friday in February, Justin and I went to Mass together at lunch.  When I get home, there is an answering machine message!  "Hello, this is ------- from Family Support Services.  Please give me a call at -------."  Completely non-chalant, no expression whatsoever in this lady's voice.  My heart is beating a million miles per hour!

I quick call Justin to let him know, and then I call her back (just an hour after she called me).  Voicemail.  I leave a message.  I wait anxiously by the phone.  Justin and I e-mail back and forth (not wanting to tie up the phone line, in case she called.)  I called again.  Voicemail again!  Surely she wouldn't call on a Friday afternoon and make us wait all weekend, right!?  I mean, they know how emotional this whole process is -- surely they wouldn't drag it out over the weekend?  But no phone call.  By 6:30pm, we realize she isn't calling us back.  Torture!

We try to go about our weekend, pray and wait, pray and wait.  We kept busy (aka distracted).  We listened to the voicemail again (Justin wanted to try to infer something from her tone of voice -- but there was ZERO emotion or indication in the answering machine message).  Were they calling to tell us they had chosen us?  they had chosen someone else?  they hadn't decided yet?

Monday morning, I'm sure I'll get a phone call anytime, right?  She was just too busy/had a meeting/whatever on Friday and couldn't get to us, but she'll return our phone call first thing.  But alas.  Nothing.  By lunchtime, I give up on waiting and call again.  Voicemail!  I leave another message.

A total of five phone calls and two messages later, and we never did hear back.  That was the last week of February. 

Early March, I saw an acquaintance who is the wife in one of the other families being considered for this sibling group.  She said they sort-of heard that the kids had been placed elsewhere.  She seemed frustrated with the lack of communication too.

So we presume that chapter in our adoption journey is closed, although there isn't really much closure to this chapter either.  It has been a highly frustrating process so far, and has left a serious distaste in our mouth.  How frustrating that there are so many children waiting, and here we are -- a stable family wanting to adopt, and we are just left hanging for months on end.

Preschool Update

We sort of wandered off the alphabet path... got lost along the way somewhere.  I think we will just pick it up again at the start of the new school year, but time will tell.  I got frustrated with Benedict's incessant coloring on walls and carpet, so I put the crayons out of child-reach.

Dominic and I finished Teach Your Child to Read, and Dominic is devouring books.  Benedict watched a little, but wasn't so interested.  Now that Dominic is reading, though, I think he is a little jealous and is expressing more interest.  TYCTR will be on the list for Benedict next year.

We bought a few workbooks at Sam's Club that the boys love to work on.  Lots of letter coloring pages, dot-to-dot, and a few harder things for Dominic, which he likes.  One of them came with a CD of learning games for the computer, and they would do that all day long if I'd let them!

Homeschool Preschool

We have officially started preschool with the boys! They are super excited to do school work like their uncle Eric, and it's adorable to watch them get excited about everything we're doing!

What are we using for preschool? A whole bunch of stuff. It seems overwhelming at first glance, but it's really not that complicated.

• I'm working through Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons with Dominic. We'll start with Benedict after Dominic finishes.
• Dominic (and sometimes Benedict) watches his Petty School lessons from Classical Liberal Arts Academy. He's been doing this for a while now and really enjoys it.
• Together we're venturing down the Alphabet Path. The boys have LOVED this!

What is the alphabet path? Each week, we explore a new letter of the alphabet! We have some books that we use every week, and then we also pick out some story books that features something with that week's letter. I found lots of alphabet coloring pages online, so I printed a few for each letter. We also cook something each week that features our letter of the week (eg- A is for Apple Pie!)

Books we use every week
Following Elizabeth Foss' Alphabet Path guides, we use the story on the Serendipity page, which incorporates A Flower Fairy Alphabet and An Alphabet of Catholic Saints. We also use
A is for Altar, B is for Bible and Museum ABC (an art book) recommended from her site.

I found some ABC books around the house, so we use those too. We're only reading one page from these books each week, so it only takes a few minutes.

• Dr. Seuss's ABC
• Richard Scarry's Find your ABC's (the A page has letter a's in red, B has b's, etc.)
• Eating the Alphabet by Lois Ehlert (each letter has fruits and vegetables beginning with that letter, and we try to eat something from that list that week)
• The Butterfly Alphabet Book by Brian Cassie (has beautiful pictures of butterflies)
• Book of Saints for Catholic Children by Fr. Daniel Lord (these are in alphabetical order, so we'll read some for each week's letter)
• I had the My First Steps to Reading books from my own childhood, and we read My "a" Book, or My "b" Book, etc. corresponding to the week. In these adorable books, Little A (or B or C...) fills his box with all sorts of things beginning with his letter. The boys like knowing that these were mama's books!
  

No News

Several people have asked if there are any updates. Short answer: no. We'll see...

Contact!

So! Remember the local kiddo that we had been contacted about a couple months ago? I hadn't heard anything back, so I just assumed that they had chosen a different family or something. I guess I was wrong, because I got a phone call from that agency today! The adoption worker asked a few questions, and said there will be a matching meeting next week! So I have no idea how many families are being considered or when we should anticipate hearing back, -- I was too surprised to think clearly enough to ask such questions on the phone! -- but I am excited :)

More details as I learn them :) Keep us in your prayers!

Back to the Drawing Board

There is a placement pending for the sibling group for whom we had submitted our homestudy. Yet again, we never heard back. I'm really frustrated with caseworkers who don't seem to let you know if you are being considered or not (or return your messages, for that matter). How long are we supposed to wait to hear something back before we look elsewhere? Until I notice the kids' picture is missing from the photolisting? It doesn't seem that difficult to send an e-mail or make a quick phone call. Even just to say we aren't being considered or we aren't a good match. But all this being left in limbo while we wait and wait and wait is making me crazy!

I'm grateful that these boys found a home. And it's back to the drawing board for us.

Cathedral at Lafayette -- Stained Glass Windows

Cemetery at Lafayette Cathedral

The cemetery at the Lafayette Cathedral, like others in the area, is all above ground because the water table is so high. The array of above-ground tombs is fascinating.

The entrance to the cemetery


A view across the cemetery


Two family tombs


We stumbled across this little piece of history -- the tomb of Franklin K Gardner, Major General, Confederate States of America! Wikipedia offers some biographical details here.

Tuesday Travels -- Lafayette, Louisiana

We drove to Lafayette, Louisiana for the wedding of some friends (one of Justin's groomsmen, and his very beautiful bride!)

We stopped at the Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist, Diocese of Lafayette, in the morning. The architecture was beautiful, and I'll do another post on the gorgeous stained glass windows and the cemetery behind the cathedral.

The cathedral from the front entrance, and then a side view, taken from the entrance to the cemetery -- stunning!

Site markers in French, Latin and English! (The nerd in me was elated!)

































I presume this is the episcopal residence -- to the left as you face the entrance to the cathedral. And to the right is a niche statue of St. John, after whom the Cathedral is named, tucked in the wall of the same building.



















The Cathedral grounds are also home to this enormous live oak tree -- the trunk is more than NINE feet diameter!

Introducing Tuesday Travels!

Our family takes a LOT of road trips! Last year, we drove about 16,000 miles in road trips! As long as we've been married, when we take road trips, we find neat places to stop along the way -- mostly interesting Catholic sites, but other things too.

So I've decided to start a series here that chronicles our travels and some of the neat places we've been able to visit.

Just last weekend, we drove to Cajun country for a wedding, and boy were there some gorgeous churches! We are taking a long road trip this summer, sure to have lots of neat stops, so I'll post pictures and explanations here. I'll post some pictures from old trips too, just for fun!