Reactions and Misconceptions

As we have pursued adoption, we have encountered a wide variety of reactions from family and friends. Most people have been incredibly supportive, but there have been a number of concerned comments as well. Here are just a few:

Why not just have more biological children?
-- It seems that as soon as we mention that we are adopting, the first reaction many people have is to ask if we are unable to have our own children. While we would love to have more biological children, this really misses the heart of the issue for us. If God blesses us with more, great! We are not pursuing adoption because we can't have our own, but because these children need a family!

But "they" will mess up your kids. Why go through all that heartache?
-- These comments are directly primarily at adopting older kids. Adopting any child will be a transition for a family, and adopting an older child with a traumatic past will certainly bring a new set of challenges. But these challenges are not so great that we can't work through them. We don't anticipate that everything will be happily-ever-after with no bumps in the road, but we do believe it is a road worth traveling. And it is not a road we have to travel alone. There are lots of resources to help families adjust, and we have a tremendous network of support.

Why not adopt from China or something instead of "dysfunctional" kids in foster care?
-- This comment is naive because it assumes that children adopted internationally are somehow immune to the trauma of their past. Orphanages overseas are not exactly a picture-perfect childhood! Certainly children are not in foster care because everything was hunky-dory with their birth parents! These children all have loss and trauma to work through, and many have developmental or behavioral delays, but it is simply ignorant to think that internationally adopted children do not struggles with these same challenges.


In general, those making these comments really have our best interests at heart. They don't want to see us struggle with permanent decisions we haven't considered thoroughly. I try not to be annoyed by their comments, but rather to see their love and concern for us. Sometimes, too, it gives me the opportunity to clarify their misunderstanding. (And sometimes they just don't want to hear it, but that's ok too.)

147 Million

As I was reading about adoption and families who have adopted, I came across the startling statistic that there are 147 million orphans in the world. What a heartbreaking reality!

For some, this overwhelming number may seem so huge that there is nothing we can do to fix it. While it is true that one family cannot "fix" the situation for these orphans, certainly it is better to do something. As I have looked through photolistings of children in foster care, my heart is broken for these children. They have experienced so much hurt in their young lives! It makes me want to adopt all of them, love them, help them to experience a new, peaceful family life.

I realize I cannot adopt them all, but our hearts have been changed forever. Pray for these children, and for families to love them!

Pursuing Adoption

We started the process of adoption quite some time ago, but I decided I'd like somewhere to journal my thoughts about the process. This blog will serve that purpose just fine, and if it encourages some other family to consider adoption, then all the better!

Yesterday we submitted our home study regarding a particular sibling group. We've looked for quite some time at pictures at adoptuskids.org and adoptflorida.org, but this is the first time we've sent our home study. I'm trying not to get to attached to any kids prematurely, but I can't help being exciting and anxious to hear back!

My heart aches for all these children who need families! I look through the photolistings and want to bring them all home. I can't help them all, obviously, but we can make a difference for a few! And right now, I can just wait and pray!